However, in the event, I was told somewhere around the week before we got on the plane – after the moving trucks had left, after the kids were enrolled in new schools – that there was a problem: “uh, can we talk for a second? I need to tell you that I rented a second house…those boxes with the red stickers are going to my house, green to yours.” Geezus. No Exit. I get the Sartre Nausea thing now maybe though he was talking about something else. Got the divorce petition a few weeks after we moved. Nausea indeed.
- The cost of real estate is going up in FL, yes, but it is going way higher in my destination
- The nativist locals of the destination seem to hate incoming migrants. Whatever
I asked an attorney about this problem and he just said “short of having a tug of war with the kids arms on the jetway, there’s not much to do now. Go or stay. You can’t slap a restraining order on her.” So, I went. I later called this my “elevator problem.” One can get on an elevator 10 million times but the 10M+1st time, when it gets stuck between floors, you start to sweat. It is a trap.
I sweated in “the elevator” for a few years thereafter (it takes exactly four years to get through the basics of a divorce, btw). Then, seven years later, in 2015, in the middle of a very challenging relationship with a supposedly grown-up Latina, I was now trapped in both FL and in a haranguing non-supportive relationship. Erg. A dude asked me at the time: “why don’t you just start planning and give yourself permission to leave? ...and maybe just break up if it is not a constructive, supportive relationship?” Why not, indeed? That was a great piece of advice and changed everything thereafter. We broke up and the day after that I was in the CO Rockies imagining a future world (later MT). That change of mind was the second single greatest source of peace of mind I’ve ever known and it has sustained me now for what? 7 years into my 64th year?
Yep. That was good. I even, on my first date with the woman I am now seeing, and with whom I will perhaps end my days, told her “I’m moving.” Her: “when?” “2023.” “Huh, that’s like 5 years from now, you really plan ahead don’t you?” “Yes. Oh, and also I need to tell you: I solo travel sometimes, it’s never personal, and I’ll walk from a dead bedroom.” “Wow, um, ok, <pause> I don’t see any problems here.”
Yep. That was good. I even, on my first date with the woman I am now seeing, and with whom I will perhaps end my days, told her “I’m moving.” Her: “when?” “2023.” “Huh, that’s like 5 years from now, you really plan ahead don’t you?” “Yes. Oh, and also I need to tell you: I solo travel sometimes, it’s never personal, and I’ll walk from a dead bedroom.” “Wow, um, ok, <pause> I don’t see any problems here.”
But here is a problem, if there even is one: what was once abstract is now getting very real. I have a realtor in two different western towns – the story of my choice is another story – and the time is getting short. If I were to do it, the move, the day after my youngest graduates -- which I really won’t, that's a little abrupt -- that means a 15 month minimum horizon. That particular interval got my attention a few months back when I really thought about it and I have been scrambling to do what I need to do in order to get my house ready. I've gotten teased for what others seem to consider "really early work" but is it really early? I often procrastinate so there is that, but also there are severe constraints in 2022 on getting supplies and work done by qualified people. If I wait that means I am just being dumb. Get it all done now!
So, I’ve been doing all the little BS stuff at home like some painting and a little electrical and other handywork, a lot of it myself. But the big stuff I’ve already done over the last year: a new roof, a new AC handler and condenser, a new fridge, a new water heater, etc. You should have seen the roof! In 2016 I had it bid. In 2021 when I finally did it, the cost was almost 2x2016. Yikes. That was tropical storm constraints on tile supply. I can't imaging what it'd be now with "real" inflation! On a side note, all that deferred maintenance that I thought was prudent retirement saving probably cost me more by waiting than if I had just done it the right way at the right time back when it needed to be done. I should blog on that alone.
But back to my point about my abstract problem getting real. I am starting to get a lil nervous:
- The move of a household is a big op. It is hard and expensive and disruptive
So, I’ve been doing all the little BS stuff at home like some painting and a little electrical and other handywork, a lot of it myself. But the big stuff I’ve already done over the last year: a new roof, a new AC handler and condenser, a new fridge, a new water heater, etc. You should have seen the roof! In 2016 I had it bid. In 2021 when I finally did it, the cost was almost 2x2016. Yikes. That was tropical storm constraints on tile supply. I can't imaging what it'd be now with "real" inflation! On a side note, all that deferred maintenance that I thought was prudent retirement saving probably cost me more by waiting than if I had just done it the right way at the right time back when it needed to be done. I should blog on that alone.
But back to my point about my abstract problem getting real. I am starting to get a lil nervous:
- The move of a household is a big op. It is hard and expensive and disruptive
- We live in a world at the beginning of a new war cycle
- Politics in the US and around the world are fraught. The state by state thing is a mystery
- This is THE first intentional move I have made as an adult since maybe 1989 when I probably was not really an adult. This is supposed to be exciting, which it is, but it is not without some qualms, too. Let's assume it is exciting and see what happens
- The cost of real estate is going up in FL, yes, but it is going way higher in my destination
- The nativist locals of the destination seem to hate incoming migrants. Whatever
- The great internal migration of 2022 is afoot, affecting everything
- Interest rates are going up so if I want to finance it is now harder either by way of loan or opportunity costs. Idk, TBD
- I may have been softened by 14 years of warm weather ;-) heh. It get's pretty cold up there
- Interest rates are going up so if I want to finance it is now harder either by way of loan or opportunity costs. Idk, TBD
- I may have been softened by 14 years of warm weather ;-) heh. It get's pretty cold up there
- The cost of heating may eclipse my current AC costs.
- I don’t know if my kids can afford to fly to me with a 2nd tier airport
- I have a 21 year old cat. What kind of road trip will we have? Ha.
- I still have a lot of work left here to do
- How will I buy at a distance? It is not all that easy to travel on a whim
- What will be the shape of the deal? Buy there, sell here; vice versa; rent here or there? TBD
- Equity markets are on the cusp of weird things, I think. Will that change my plans? TBD
So, plenty to think about. On the other hand, the beneficence of my gf giving me support on this from our very first day is not to be understated. That is gold standard stuff even though the decision is now and will ever be in my own hands. I have been resolute on all of this except for maybe once when I balked for just one afternoon. Her: “listen, we can build a life: summers north, winters south, shoulder seasons wherever. And anyway, you’ve been thinking about this for what? 50 years? You will seriously regret this if you don’t do it.” So, thank you gf, I will go, but the time really is shortening.
- I don’t know if my kids can afford to fly to me with a 2nd tier airport
- I have a 21 year old cat. What kind of road trip will we have? Ha.
- I still have a lot of work left here to do
- How will I buy at a distance? It is not all that easy to travel on a whim
- What will be the shape of the deal? Buy there, sell here; vice versa; rent here or there? TBD
- Equity markets are on the cusp of weird things, I think. Will that change my plans? TBD
So, plenty to think about. On the other hand, the beneficence of my gf giving me support on this from our very first day is not to be understated. That is gold standard stuff even though the decision is now and will ever be in my own hands. I have been resolute on all of this except for maybe once when I balked for just one afternoon. Her: “listen, we can build a life: summers north, winters south, shoulder seasons wherever. And anyway, you’ve been thinking about this for what? 50 years? You will seriously regret this if you don’t do it.” So, thank you gf, I will go, but the time really is shortening.
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